An Appointment With The Muse
Courting the Muse is a challenge I didn’t know I needed. I’ve been jotting hundreds of teaser thoughts and ideas from my brain into random notebooks (if I could be bothered to find and organize them) for years. Now that it’s time for me to coax these assorted gems into something viable, I’m both excited and overwhelmed by the process. Most of my efforts have been spent finding the reasons why something won’t work, instead of creating a functional framework and ironing out the kinks later. This week’s column is a prime example. This is actually my second attempt. The first one I wrote is sitting over in the corner, unedited, while I start again from scratch. I sure hope I make my deadline; my publisher is kind of a stickler for these things. The original one will most likely never see the light of day because I believe there’s too much wrong with it. There are probably some good words in there but they need some work.
Deadlines. Now there’s a light-bulb moment. My entire working life revolved around deadlines. Now, just as before, the bills are paid, the house is cleaned (mostly) and stocked with groceries, appointments are kept on-track, all because I keep to a schedule and honor my own deadlines. It’s my nature and how I do my best work.
It's also a reminder that everything is paradox. Magical moments are spontaneous, and they are also planned. This is kind of an embarrassing no-brainer for me now that I think about it. Just like most everything else in my life, if I don’t make time for magic, I’ll never have time for magic. It will go on with or without me. Mostly without unless I make it happen.
I guess it’s human nature to want what we don’t have. Or, to want what we perceive others to have, that we do not. I believe the kids call it FOMO and while I’m genuinely happy for my friends who appear to find and make their own magical moments, I sometimes wonder what happened to mine. Maybe it has something to do with the changing seasons in my life (and my body), or my natural inclination to remain on the outside looking in, but lately I’ve haven’t felt much in the way of magic. I’ve explored some new concepts, and these are all well and good, but I’ve mostly ignored my tried-and-true practices. The ones that belong to me alone and over time have become an integral part of how I live my life and who I am. Ironically, for years I lamented not having the time I wanted to devote to these daily rituals, when it was the lack of time that required me to prioritize the time for them. These rituals kept me grounded and sane as I moved through my world of deadlines, commitments and people. It was necessary magic.
It bears stating that all magic is necessary in its own way. Having the luxury of time to devote to magical pursuits is a gift and it’s common knowledge that gifts aren’t always valued in the way they ‘should’ be (I dislike that word but there you go). A gift comes with no strings or investment on the part of the receiver, and it often goes to waste. I’ve experienced this firsthand over the past few months. Sure, I’ve gotten some magical stuff done, but if I’m honest, only the bare minimum. I have both the time and the resources to explore and study and expand the magic around me, all the things I told myself I’d do, and what I thought I lacked, was motivation. What's really missing is the structure of a deadline. And since I’m being honest, also a list. What can I say? Old habits die hard.
The Wheel of The Year is nature’s schedule and there’s nothing more magical than nature herself. Bealtaine/Beltane/May Day is next week. The days are filled with more hours of light and quickly grow warmer now. Summers are brutal in Southeast Texas, but for these brief few weeks, and again in the fall, it’s practically perfect. There are dramatic thunderstorms, a result of winter’s losing battle against the warm gulf air, that bring an electrical charge to the mix and call me to hone my Daoist thunder magic skills. It’s also a reminder to follow my nature and keep the schedule of the way.
In addition, and probably counterproductive, to a reasonable schedule, there’s also the importance of the Muse to consider. I’ve embraced the Muse's energy in my writing and in recent mystical/psychic collaborations, but until recently I never considered engaging the Muse in my magical pursuits. I realize this is a rookie mistake because there is no separation of magical energy. All energy is magical. Man, the further I go down this rabbit hole, the more I realize there is for me to re-learn. This is probably because I only thought I learned it the first time. Ouch.
Although I self-identify as a witch, the magic, magick and majick (of the Cabot tradition) I’m talking about here isn’t a specific to witchcraft. Magic, whichever way you spell it, is an experience that transcends words. If I try to explain a magical experience that happened to me, I'm probably not able to adequately do so. It’s like describing the sensation of a warm cat purring in your lap, or the call of an eagle to another person. Even if they have a cat or regularly see eagles on their daily hikes and think they know exactly what you mean, their experience is different from your own. Every magical encounter is unique to the magician. And we are all the magicians of our own realms.
As I transition into my “third act” I have no idea what the script holds but I know that magic is at the forefront. There’s no doubt I’m playing the lead role, and this will effectuate some ‘big magic’, but I’m not chasing it. First, I must become my own understudy. I must relearn what I’ve forgotten and become adept at what I once believed I understood. I must follow a path filled with ten-thousand instances of small magic and trust the Muse, in all her mystical wonder, to inspire me as I make my way along The Way. I’d better schedule some time with her, tout suite.
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