Opinions and Assumptions
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I knew almost nothing about the performer known as Jelly Roll before seeing an interview on CBS Sunday Morning this week, but that didn’t stop me from judging him at the outset. To be fair, I don't know much more about him now, but I’ve learned a bit about myself.
Jelly Roll was my mirror and the reflection was an eye-opener.
The opening scene showed a large guy with face tattoos, performing on a stage with Christian iconography – namely, a cross, singing about the need to be “saved”. I’d heard he was a rapper, and knew he’d performed at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo this past year, but what I didn’t know was that he’s a successful crossover artist. Rap, then country; nominated for two Grammy’s and having won some CMA awards (don’t quote me on this, it’s not the point). All-in-all, I am not the demographic for his music, to say the least, and this held zero appeal for me.
The interview quickly dove deeply into Jelly Roll’s past – in prison. One segment was in the county jail, in the cell he called home. As I’ve stated, I don’t know the entire story, just that he’d ‘done time’, turned his life around and is now paying both backwards and forwards. Another clip showed him speaking to current prisoners, connecting with them collectively and individually and showing them if he can do it, so can they.
He’s soft-spoken, intelligent, and humble. He’s self-aware, kind, and changing what’s in his power to change. Starfish theory style.
The interview only lasted seven or eight minutes and in that span of time, showed me that my initial judgment couldn’t have been any further off-base. Now, I know the piece was edited to suit the intention of the producer, and my takeaway may not reflect the entire truth and certainly not the entire person, but it did show that my first impression was incredibly unfair. I found myself listening to the clip of his performance at the end with a new perspective, and an appreciation for his beautiful voice (both when speaking and when singing).
I Googled him and had another ‘moment’ when I discovered the meaning of his stage name. It’s crass and I find it personally distasteful, but that’s my problem. Not his.
Then I found out that his stage name is really a childhood nickname, given to him by his mother and having nothing to do with the urban slang definition I read, once again changing the way I felt about him. And once again, reminding me how I feel about anything to do with someone else’s life doesn’t change who they are. The only thing that changed was my perception, erroneously based on outward and superficial appearances.
Nothing about my opinion had anything to do with him, and everything to do with me. My reaction at the beginning of the interview wasn’t particularly strong one way or another. His story had much more of an impact on me, which, if I think about it, is how this should work.
The lesson here, for me, is to realize that there’s no way I can ever understand enough about someone’s story if I filter the information they share through my own experience. No two of us are the same and that just doesn’t work. I must take what they say, and what they do, at face value. And leave it at that. My opinion on their words and actions doesn’t matter. At all.
This isn’t easy, but it is worthwhile. It may help to remember that I was wrong about Jelly Roll, and I may well be wrong about myriad other things as well.
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