Perspective of Decades

I’ve been thinking about perspective, and how it changes so imperceptibly that it’s only when I look back to a particular point in time, can I see how different I am now. And also, how I’m still the same.

The first ten years of my life were filled with the happiness and wonder of a storybook childhood. If the circumstances weren’t perfect, and they almost certainly were not, my parents did an excellent job of not only keeping me safe, but also keeping the magic of those years intact. Every child should be so fortunate, and I don’t take the benefit this decade had in forming who I am for granted.

The biggest changes in my life happened during my second decade. My father died when I was thirteen, shifting the dynamic of my teenage years with an impact I didn’t realize until much later in life. The events of the early years of this period instilled my need for independence and my distrust of stability. Everyone and everything let me down. It was no one’s fault, and I assess no blame. I became stronger for it. By the end of this decade, I was the single mother of a one-year-old, again changing the trajectory of the years that followed, but that’s nothing special. It’s just how it works.

The early years of my twenties, my third decade, were a time of fun, heartbreak, obstacles, and success in self-discovery. I was confident in myself and my abilities, a little less so in the world around me. I married my daughter’s father when she was three and while I don’t regret choosing the stability of a traditional family, in hindsight, I would have trusted myself to make a different decision. There were challenges, there always are, but the years of this decade were good. There’s comfort inside the box. And breathing room. This was an important phase I didn’t recognize at the time.

I really came into my own as an adult in my thirties and in my fourth decade, the shift that began with my first Saturn return (at age 29) brought major changes that marked these years. My mother died and I was truly an adult without a safety net. My career path solidified, and I began ‘working my way up’ with an established company that offered a stable and secure future. There’s comfort inside the box. It’s impossible for everything to go well all at the same time though, right? My marriage hit a rocky path early in this decade and although I think we both gave it our best shot for longer than we should have, it didn’t survive. I kept the career box and let the relationship box go. I began my journey of spiritual exploration during this time and while the intensity of this path ebbs and flows, it’s the constant thread that guides my way.

In my forties, I sold the house I’d wanted so badly for so long (ditched the box), married again, and halfway through this time I obtained a career certification that rocketed my career prospects. In my fifth decade, I found the courage to leave my safe little job for a management role with a much larger company. I lived in an uptown condo, taking the bus to an office with a spectacular view high over downtown. Everything about this time was exciting and fun and I’d have been happy for things to stay the same forever.

And they did for a while. Then the job got stale. Working for an executive level boss who could not be pleased, primarily because her own issues prevented her from allowing anyone else to succeed, became impossible and I stopped trying. I read the writing on the wall a little too late as the company shifted focus in an ever-changing commercial real estate market. As the headcount shrunk to a third of the number of employees there were at the beginning of my tenure, I tried to convince my boss to reduce the staff who reported to me, rather than eliminate my own position. But the budget had a target the size of my salary and midway through my sixth decade, I was set free of that box. I was more relieved than anything else.

At this point, I realized that had I planned better, I could have shifted gears completely and pursued a less traditional path. In my spare time, I was reading and teaching tarot professionally, and forming ideas for writing and other creative endeavors around these skills. I hadn’t planned for this financially, so finding another box became my top priority. After a brief misstart, I found a lucrative position with a prestigious law firm. This was the golden box. I hit pay dirt, it was the best job I’d ever had and I’m grateful for the development that allowed me the choice to leave when I did. The trade-off was that the work consumed the rest of my sixth decade.

The last couple of years of this period brought my second Saturn return and the years of study and practice resulting in my ordination as a 22^nd Generation Dragon Gate Priest from the Houston branch of the Mt. Qingcheng, Jianfu Shrine. My Master is Lao Zhi Chang (RIP 2022). I state my lineage here for accountability, nothing more. This is the most spiritually significant event of my life.

I would have stayed with the law firm a while longer, the money was exceptionally good, but management and departmental structural changes, combined with an entire ‘from scratch’ global system conversion was the Universe’s way of telling me it was time to go.

Heeding the message, I took the first year of my seventh decade to transition from the intensity of leading the department and project, to a role as a part-time advisor. I walked away at the end of the year, with no regrets and no looking back.

After writing all of this, I realize that my perspective has been more of an evolution, than a series of shifts. Who I am hasn’t changed. I’ve adapted based on the circumstances at the time, and I realize that I’m proud of how I’ve navigated the aspects of my life. I’m not sure this is where I intended to go this week, but here we are.

I’m still early into this seventh decade, making the most of it given a few curve balls and health challenges, and I’m optimistic there will be a few more decades to follow. Through the portal opened during my Daoist training, and the experience of life itself, I’m finding more of the magic and wonder and possibilities, now that I have the space to allow them to grow.

If you would like to know more about my ancestral connection work, my Daoist path, or my other offerings such as tarot readings, spiritual guidance and mindset coaching, you can find more detailed information by using the drop-down menu on my website: The Mystic’s Parlour (the-mystics-parlour.ghost.io)

You can also contact me via email at themysticsparlour@gmail.com or on any of my social media channels. And follow along with TABI Tarot on their social media channels as well. https://tabi.org.uk

Your continued support and encouragement are greatly appreciated.