Life Is a Lot Like Mahjong (you can’t win every hand)

The ancient game of Mahjong is getting a real ‘glow up’ right now. It’s all over social media as both an aesthetic and a lifestyle. In addition to the community, church, and senior centers where experienced players have been meeting every week since before mahjong became 'cool', open play groups are now turning up in restaurants, boutique shops, and even offices every day of the week. I roped my husband into taking lessons at our local Y this past April and we’ve been playing regularly ever since.

I was fascinated by the structure and excited to learn this beautiful and tactile game. I was also more than a little intimidated. Mahjong is both a social experience and very serious game. Seasoned players move quickly, and if you can’t keep up, you’ll be left behind (and probably not invited back) so I was delighted and relieved that the other players in my lesson group wanted to continue to play together and we’ve created a lovely little Mahjong bubble where our skills and confidence has grown. We’re always happy to invite new people in, especially beginners, and our game sessions are a mix of mostly serious play, a bit of leeway with the rules (if we recognize that a rule has been broken and what should have happened) and a lot of laughter.  We’ve become a group of friends who enjoy the game and the company and that is entirely the point.

There are myriad debates about the ‘official’ rules as well as agreement (in our group anyway) that some of them are just stupid. But rules are rules and we agree that a standard is necessary when playing with groups of strangers (another goal of this game). What’s even more important is etiquette. This can be even more intimidating but imagining what “Miss Manners” might say by way of advice goes a long way.

·       Wait until everyone has been served before you start (this applies to meals and tiles).

·       Ask ‘please’ and respond, ‘thank you’ (for joker exchanges or for anything you ask of someone else).

·       Respect personal space (don’t touch someone else’s tiles, or any personal belonging for that matter, without being invited to do so).

·       Don’t mention someone's mistake if there’s nothing they can do about it (missed joker exchange or a haircut gone wrong).

·       Arrive five minutes early and be ready to start on time.

·       Wait your turn (to play or to speak).

·       Know when it’s your turn (to bring tiles, supplies, refreshments, etc.).

·       Help clean up afterwards (put tiles and racks away, remove trash, leave the space as you found it).

·       Be kind. You never know when someone is having an off day, or why.

When playing with an unfamiliar group, reading the room and following the lead of the host and/or experienced regulars is a good approach. Not every group is a fit for every player and whether you want to continue to play with them is a decision you can make in time, but only if you’re invited back. I'm talking about Mahjong, but this is a good plan to follow in any new group situation.

Now that I’ve been playing for a little while, I’m beginning to see how the patterns of life are mirrored in the game of Mahjong.

·       Things get easier once you learn what you’re doing.

·       You never really know what you’re doing.

·       Skill and strategy are important.

·       Luck (good and bad) can make skill and strategy completely irrelevant.

·       It’s important to have a Plan B.

·       It’s not always possible to have a Plan B.

·       Plan B doesn’t always work either.

·       Other people are the most likely reason to need a Plan B.

·       You’re going to make mistakes.

·       Not everyone needs to know you made a mistake.

·       Mistakes (and life in general) are less painful when you learn to laugh at yourself.

·       Celebrate the wins (both yours and everyone else’s) but remember that winning isn’t everything.

This may sound obvious to those of you who’ve been playing mahjong, or other group games, but epiphany moments are worth noting and as I fancy myself an essayist (of the decidedly amateur variety) I’m doing exactly that here. I’ll be back soon with my thoughts on the similarities between tarot people and mahjong people, as well as whatever else pops into my head that week. Y’all knew the score when you signed up.

Now, for the housekeeping segment of our time together:

I host live tarot readings and ramble sessions every Sunday at 10am CDT as part of the Trusted Tarot group on Facebook. You can join in (or just watch) here: Trusted Tarot

I’m offering a free beginner tarot workshop on August 22^nd and 23^rd designed to help anyone curious about the tarot to start reading their cards right away and encourage them to take their studies deeper. Email me at the address below if you’d like to join us.

And I’m presenting The Dao of Witchcraft at WitchCon 2027.

More events and offerings to follow but you can always reach me via email at themysticsparlour@gmail.com, follow me on Instagram as @the.mystics.parlour, or send me a friend request on Facebook.

If you would like to know more about my ancestral connection work, my Daoist path, or my other offerings such as tarot readings and classes, spiritual guidance, and mindset mentoring, you can find more detailed information by using the drop-down menu on my website:  https://the-mystics-parlour.ghost.io.

I appreciate your continued support and encouragement. See you next Saturday.